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RUSHVILLE CHRYSLER-JEEP-DODGE
New & used vehicles with a full line service & parts dept. Call 765-932-2447 or 866-576-7874 or visit us on the web for more info.
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PIT STOP PIZZA & PUB
Open for breakfast at 6 a.m., Mon-Sat. Steak special Fri-Sat. Daily homemade meal specials. 711 N. Main Street in Carthage. 765-565-6078

the caring professionals
HINSEY-BROWN FUNERAL SERVICE
Two locations: 7355 S. State Road 109, Knightstown (765-345-7400) and 3406 S. Memorial Dr. in New Castle (765-529-7100)
hinsey-brown.com

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LEAKEY INSURANCE AGENCY
Call 765-345-5171 for info/quote.
leakeyinsurance.com

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KNIGHTSTOWN COLLISION CENTER
Call 765-345-5380 for info/quote or visit us at 221 W. Main Street

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SUPERIOR MOWERS & MORE
Call 317-462-1323 or visit us on the web for more info
superiormowers.com

a family tradition since 1898
CONDO & SON FUNERAL HOME
Funeral services, monument sales. 130 S. Main Street in Wilkinson. Call 765-781-2435.
condoandson.com

Mike Redmond Column

Please refer to the Mike Redmond Column main page for columns published in other issues.
Mike can be contacted via e-mail at mike@mikeredmondonline.com.

 

 

 

 Men Easy Targets for Marketing Gurus

So there I was, wandering down the Personal Cleanliness aisle of the Big Cheap Department Store, when my eyes fell upon a bottle advertising itself not as soap, or detergent, or a cleaning product of any kind but as– get ready – a Scent System.

Scent System?

Sounds like something you’d find on a skunk. Or a good name for that uncle of yours who is always pulling the old “pull my finger” joke at family reunions.

But no, there it was, next to the usual array of bar soaps and five-dollar-a-gallon aftershaves: A Scent System.

Only a man could have come up with something so ridiculous.

“System” is a magic word to guys. There are lots of these. “Turbo” is a magic word. So is “bold.” Advertisers and marketers these all the time to sucker guys into buying stuff that they don’t need for way more than they ought to pay. Snack foods, for example. I’m pretty sure it’s possible to buy a Giant (another magic word) bag of cheese puffs that are now Turbo-Charged with Bold New Flavor. Never mind that they’re really just the same old cheese puffs with a little bit of cayenne sprinkled on them. They’re Turbo and Bold. Guys love that kind of stuff.

And so it is with “system.” The word triggers a response hidden deep in guy DNA, a natural attraction for plans and strategies, which usually translates into a keen ability to make things more complicated than they really need to be.

Think about it. Every time someone “reorganizes” the work flow at the office, what happens? Things get more complicated and what used to take a day to accomplish now takes a day and a half. That’s a System Loving Guy having what he considers to be a perfect day. Perfect if designed by Rube Goldberg, I mean.

So what does all this have to do with getting clean? Nothing. But it has everything to do with selling soap.

Scent System, to a guy, conjures up this image – a squadron of tiny little scent specialists deployed onto his body for the purpose of keeping him Socially Acceptable.

“All right men, time for a perimeter check. Neck? Check. Torso? Check. South of the Border? Check. Feet? Oh, my. Feet, we’ll get back to you.”

The squad leader sits in Scent Control monitoring the situation and sending Scent Troops where they’re needed.

“All right, he’s heading to the boss’s office. Looks chancy. Yep, he’s nervous. Let’s reinforce those armpits STAT!”

“Pretty girl ahead. All hands on deck! All hands on deck! We need a full-on response here, people. Make him fragrant!”

“Man your battle stations! Man your battle stations! He’s going to the gym! Repeat: He’s going to the gym!” This is not a drill! This is not a drill!”

And so on.

It is, of course, ridiculous. Scent system? Please. It’s shower and that’s all is. The only thing systematic about it is the way marketers use a magic word to make sure guys grab it and throw it into their shopping carts purely from a reflex they don’t even understand. Right along with the Turbo paper plates and Bold new cat litter.

Which, of course, is what I did. I bought a bottle of scent system.

What can I say? I’m a guy.

 

 

 

© 2010 Mike Redmond. All Rights Reserved.