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RUSHVILLE CHRYSLER-JEEP-DODGE
New & used vehicles with a full line service & parts dept. Call 765-932-2447 or 866-576-7874 or visit us on the web for more info.
rushvillechryslerjeepdodge.com

open 7 days! dine-in or carry-out
PIT STOP PIZZA & PUB
Open for breakfast at 6 a.m., Mon-Sat. Steak special Fri-Sat. Daily homemade meal specials. 711 N. Main Street in Carthage. 765-565-6078

the caring professionals
HINSEY-BROWN FUNERAL SERVICE
Two locations: 7355 S. State Road 109, Knightstown (765-345-7400) and 3406 S. Memorial Dr. in New Castle (765-529-7100)
hinsey-brown.com

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LEAKEY INSURANCE AGENCY
Call 765-345-5171 for info/quote.
leakeyinsurance.com

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KNIGHTSTOWN COLLISION CENTER
Call 765-345-5380 for info/quote or visit us at 221 W. Main Street

parts for mowers
SUPERIOR MOWERS & MORE
Call 317-462-1323 or visit us on the web for more info
superiormowers.com

a family tradition since 1898
CONDO & SON FUNERAL HOME
Funeral services, monument sales. 130 S. Main Street in Wilkinson. Call 765-781-2435.
condoandson.com

Mike Redmond Column

Please refer to the Mike Redmond Column main page for columns published in other issues.
Mike can be contacted via e-mail at mike@mikeredmondonline.com.

 

 

 

 Quiz Stuff Has Sense of Finality

It’s Finals Time at schools across the country, including the university where I am rumored to be something called a “teacher,” so in that spirit I’ve prepared a little quiz. The subject is … Stuff. Ready? You may begin.

 

     1. There is nothing wrong with your life that can’t be cured by:

         a. A gazillion dollars.

         b. A really good grilled cheese sandwich.

         c. Penicillin and/or Prozac.

         d. New underwear.

     2. What the world needs now is:

         a. Love, sweet love.

         b. A really good grilled cheese sandwich.

         c. A better class of occupants.

         d. More cowbell.

     3. Time is:

         a. Of the essence.

         b. On your side.

         c. Running out, so call immediately.

         d. Not a very good magazine anymore.

     4. The best way to solve most of the world’s problems is:

         a. Sit down and talk to one another as people.

         b. Sit down and beat each other over the head with shovels.

         c. Serve everyone really good grilled cheese sandwiches.

         d. Give up and start over on another planet.

     5. If Abe Lincoln were alive today, he’d be:

         a. Miffed to find himself on the $5 bill while Grant gets the $50.

         b. Inclined to stay home instead of go to the theater.

         c. Proud of the country, except for the fact that the Civil War isn’t really over yet.

         d. 201 years old

     6. Complete the following quotation: “Ask not what your country can do for you; ask…”

         a. What comes with the Grilled Cheese Basket.

         b. For directions, you big wussy.

         c. If you could hear the question one more time.

         d. By making your final Jeopardy answer in the form of a question.

     7. When faced with a problem, the best response is to:

         a. Click your heels together and say, “There’s no place like home.”

         b. Call my friend Frank, who is really good at problem solving.

         c. Run as fast as you can the other direction.

         d. Fall to your knees, hold up your hands, lift your face to the heavens and say, “My wallet is in my back pocket.”

     8. The end of the world:

         a. Was actually a week ago.

         b. Will probably involve frightening invaders from beyond the stars, such as Christopher Walken.

         c. Will still not see the end of cockroaches and Keith Richards.

         d. Is none of my business. I’m just a visitor here myself.

     9. May in Indianapolis means:

         a. It’s also May everywhere else.

         b. A mulch sale at Farm and Fleet.

         c. Time to get out of town.

         d. Someone named Andretti is going to be in a bad mood before the month is over.

     10. All you really need to know about life is:

         a. It’s easier if you remember to breathe.

         b. Is best if you’re a participant rather than a spectator.

         c. Is way better than the alternative, life with no chance of parole.

         d. Is lived, quite happily, by people who don’t have the tiniest fraction of the so-called success that is giving you ulcers, making your spouse crazy, alienating your children and making you old before your time.

 

That’s it. If you want to know the answers, don’t ask me. They’re all to be found in yourselves. Now excuse me while I go make a sandwich. You know what kind.

 

 

© 2010 Mike Redmond. All Rights Reserved.