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Healthy Food We Can't Live Without
Someone sent a list of super-healthy foods and I was pleased to see that most of them were high on my list of Things I’d Eat Even If They Weren’t Good For You which is not a very long list, me being a man and all.
I’ve long observed that women are much more likely than men to eat something nasty if it’s good for them. Brussels sprouts, for example. Brussels sprouts are horrible. There is simply no good reason for Brussels sprouts to even exist. They taste like a mouthful of sulphurous compost.
But I have known several women who would load their plates with sprouts - even while admitting they didn’t really care for them - because they are (a.) a vegetable and (b.) good for you, allegedly. I have my doubts.
Guys, on the other hand, will simply say "No thank you," or "I’ll pass," or "Get those things out of here before I hurl."
Anyway, back to the list. It contained a lot of really good stuff that was already on my grocery list, such as:
• Wild salmon. Which is the only kind I’ll eat. I’ve seen some reports about farmed salmon, and in some cases well, let’s just say you’d be better off eating a hot dog.
• Low-fat yogurt. I’m not wild about yogurt, but when I eat it, it’s low fat. Everything around here is low fat. Except me.
• Oysters. I love oysters. One of these days I’m going to an oyster bar where I’ll tell them to keep them coming until I say stop, or pass out. I want to see where my limit is. The only thing stopping me is this strong feeling that I will embarrass myself when the bar closes and I’m still eating.
• Blueberries. Love ’em. Except in pancakes. It goes back to when I was a kid. My whole family ate blueberry pancakes on Sundays, and I was called a weirdo when I wanted mine plain. To this day, I haven’t touched a blueberry pancake, and that was 47 years ago. I am nothing if not dedicated.
• Kiwi fruit. Bless their fuzzy brown outsides and sweet green insides.
• Sweet potatoes. I prefer squash, but I don’t mind a hot sweet now and again. And no, I don’t need them in brown sugar with marshmallows. Ick.
• Spinach. Call me Popeye.
• Tomatoes. Call me well, I can’t think of anyone. But I love tomatoes.
• Walnuts. That’s actually my snack of choice these days - a handful of walnuts just before bed.
• Dark chocolate. OK, sometimes I have a piece of dark chocolate with my walnuts. So sue me.
So there I was, looking over this list of healthy foods and feeling proud of myself, indeed. I’ve made a conscious effort to eat better this year, and here were things I had been eating all along not because they were healthy, but because I liked them. That they were making me healthier was just a bonus.
Then I read the fine print. This was an article from a ladies’ magazine about how these foods would make you more beautiful, with lustrous hair and glowing skin and all that girl stuff. Beauty? Luster? Glow? One look at me and you know it’s bogus.
Oh well. On the upside, you’ll notice it didn’t say anything about sprouts.
© 2009 Mike Redmond. All Rights Reserved.
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