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Open Garage Door Invitation to Thieves
Once again I find myself at odds with one or more of my fellow citizens over a concept I like to call "the private ownership of movable property."
Simply put, I am in favor of it, and by the look of things, quite a few of my neighbors are not, as they chose to remind me the other day.
This time my personal holdings have been reduced by one (1) electric lawnmower, one (1) power drill and 1 (one) 100-foot extension cord on a reel. The lawnmower and drill were fairly new - in fact, I think I used the drill all of twice. The extension cord was old. And wouldn’t you know it, that’s the one that upset me the most. We had a lot of good times together, that cord and I. But I digress.
These items used to be stored in my garage, which I have come to find developed in inexplicable glitch in one of its doors Friday night. That glitch caused someone (not me, and I won’t name names, either, because this person feels bad enough already) to think the door had closed when it had not. In fact, it just went down to the bottom of the track and then rebounded back into the open position.
At any rate, the open door was more than enough invitation for person or persons unknown to come in and help themselves to my mower and drill.
What’s kind of funny is what these persons (in my mind’s eye. I see persons, so I’ll go with that) passed up to get there: A freezer full of food, power tools worth far more than the drill, motorcycle saddles worth as much as the drill and mower combined, a motorcycle to go with them, and so on. The fools.
(That’s rich. I’m the one with the garage door that pops open, I’m the one who lost his stuff, I’m the one who has to go through the rigamarole with the cops and the insurance guys, and I’m calling THEM the fools.)
Most of the time, I figure whoever takes my stuff is taking it to convert into something they really need, such as drugs, although I have to wonder how high you can get with the proceeds from things that have been liberated from my possession in the past: Garbage cans (really!), extremely pliable plastic lawn furniture that I was planning to throw away, an ashtray, a lantern and a truck radio. I’m not seeing a lot of money-making opportunity there. Well, maybe the radio. And who knows? Maybe there’s an ashtray collector out there who paid big money for mine, which I myself liberated from a motel in Cocoa Beach, FL, on spring break in 1971 This latest case may be different, though, because they took the power cord as well as the mower and drill. Maybe this indicates they will be used instead of fenced.
In that case, I would ask you all to be on the lookout for itinerants asking to mow your lawns the new fangled electric way, or if you have anything that might need to have a hole drilled into it. If you see them, call the cops, and then grab hold of that extension cord. I already got a replacement mower and drill, but I forgot to get a new cord, and my grass is getting kind of tall.
© 2009 Mike Redmond. All Rights Reserved.
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