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Adult Diet and Exercises Actually Work
My endless quest to lose my parade-balloon body has led me to do some pretty weird things, I’ll admit.
There was the egg diet of the early 1970s, where just about all you ate was eggs. You lost weight, all right. You also sprouted pinfeathers and started scratching in the yard.
This was followed by the grapefruit diet, which was just like the egg diet only with grapefruit. The bad thing is, after a while you never want to eat grapefruit again. The good thing is you re-acquire your taste for eggs.
Of course I tried the cabbage soup diet of a few years back, forgetting that cabbage gives me gas something awful. Boy, there was an idea that backfired.
I lost a bunch of weight once by limiting myself to about 1,500 calories a day. Talk about a strict diet. If you licked an envelope you’d be over your limit.
I have Atkinsed and South Beached. I have dieted according to my personality and my blood type. I have counted calories and followed intuitive eating.
And I am here to tell you that it’s all pretty much bushwa.
The only diet with which I have had any real success is the Dr. Shecky diet, named after my retired (and greatly missed) physician Dr. Shecky, the world’s funniest (he thinks) physician. It’s simple, too: Don’t eat anything with a label on it.
In other words, load up on fresh fruits and vegetables, eat lean meats only, and keep everything else at a minimum. Labels mean processed and processed means sugar, salt and fat.
But you also have to throw in the mantra of my friend Cheryl Silich, the nicest woman I know who also can bend me into a pretzel, whose advice is as simple as Shecky’s: Eat less, move more.
You’ll notice there are no calculations, no weigh-ins, no malarkey. Just common sense. Which, those who know me will attest, is often not mentioned in a sentence with my name, but that is exactly what it is: Eat better and get some exercise.
Here’s the kicker. It’s working. I’m slimming down.
Thanks to Cheryl I am on what is to me a punishing workout routine. For her it’s called “warming up.” Thanks to Shecky I’m actually eating like an adult. And thanks to both of them I’m losing weight.
Of course, it’s not easy. I have to lift weights every other day, no matter what, or Cheryl will hurt me. That’s what she says, anyway, and I for one am not brave enough to see if she’s kidding. And on the off days I have to do cardio. Which, I will admit, is far preferable to having a cardiac.
And I have given up many of the foods I love. I haven’t seen fried chicken in months. Or pie. Or cheeseburgers. Or pizza.
Wait. I take that back. I did have some pizza the other night, sort of. I just scraped the stuff off the top and fed the crust to my very happy dog. That was a first for me. Never in my life have I sat down to a meal of rubber cheese and tomato glop.
I TOLD you I’ve done some weird things to lose weight.
I think I’ll go see if there’s anything healthy in the fridge. I know I have eggs. Maybe there’s some grapefruit. Or cabbage.
No. No cabbage.
© 2009 Mike Redmond. All Rights Reserved.
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