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CONDO & SON FUNERAL HOME
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Mike Redmond Column

Please refer to the Mike Redmond Column main page for columns published in other issues.
Mike can be contacted via e-mail at mike@mikeredmondonline.com.

 

 

 

 New Year Promises Interesting News

I suppose I should say something about the new year, seeing as it’s here.

OK. Here goes:

Good luck.

We’re in one of those good news-bad news deals. And what makes it really scary is that “things are going to get worse before they get better” is the good news. And that leads me to my first resolution of the year:

Stop watching so many political talk shows.

Remember when Sammy Terry was the scariest thing on TV? Boy, are THOSE days over. I don’t care who you’re watching, left side or right, Fox or MSNBC, those shows are getting most blood-curdling all the time. Also louder. Good lord, do those people like to shout. Who decided that the person with the most volume wins the argument?

It’ll do no good to switch the channel. You’re likely to wind up watching American Idol, and when you see the kind of people this country produces who think they have talent – well, that’s a whole ‘nother kind of scary.

OK, so maybe I should just resolve not to watch TV at all.

While I’m at it, I might as well resolve not to use the Internets and the Goofle and the Weird Wide Web. It’s just as scary there. Maybe more so. You look at the comments after the stories on a so-called Responsible News Site and first you wonder how so many nasty, mean-spirited, name-calling, borderline psychotic whackjobs got hold of computers. Then you wonder why they can’t spell. Then you wonder why you’re reading this garbage at all. And then the cuff on your blood pressure monitor explodes.

Oops. That brings up another resolution. I have to take better care of myself this year. Thanks to an overindulgence in holiday fare (I never met a fruitcake I couldn’t wrestle into submission) I’m down to one pair of jeans that fits, sort of. For it to happen, I have to wear them Fred Mertz style, with the waist somewhere up around the armpits. And here’s the scary part: It’s really comfortable.

Of course, weight isn’t my only issue. My eyes have been going haywire for two years. In fact, I just got out of cataract surgery, which took the vision in my left eye from 20/400 to 20/25. It was amazing. Suddenly I could see clearly again, such as when I got the bill. Talk about your eye-opening experiences.

Which gets us back to the year into which we are embarking.

Likely as not, it’s going to contain eye-opening experiences of every sort. I’m hoping most of them will be the good kind for all of us. New babies – now there’s an eye-opener you can never get tired of. New puppies, too. A new administration is always exciting. Not to mention good books, great music and wonderful art.

Most of which, it should be noted, are free for the asking, at least at the libraries, public concerts and museums. Puppies, babies and government you generally have to pay for. Sometimes dearly.

So here’s to 2009, the challenging year ahead. Fasten your seat belts. Hang on. And if you see me, say hi. I’ll be the one nuzzling the puppies.

 

 

 

© 2009 Mike Redmond. All Rights Reserved.