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Absolutely Honest Responses ... Maybe!
I am nothing if not trendy, which is why I joined one of those social networking sites a little while back.
Yep. Trendy. That's me.
OK, the truth is I had a lot of time on my hands that day. I'm about as trendy as black-and-white television, and I like it that way. I've seen what it takes to be trendy and believe me, my way is a lot less work.
So anyway, I joined this social network so I could ... because I wanted to ... in order to ... Well, I joined it for the same reason everyone else does, I guess: to network. Socially. And this I have done, in a limited way. By that I mean I read the e-mails and even send one back, occasionally.
But with this trendy networking has come something I did not bargain for: I am being swamped with surveys. Every time I visit the site, it seems, I have six or seven surveys in my in-box, demanding to be completed, and I do mean demanding. One came with a note saying that if I didn't complete it and send it to at least three people something terrible would happen to me, and I wouldn't be able to stop it even if I made a wish at 11:11 (a.m. or p.m., your choice).
This provides us with a clue as to the sources, and the intended respondents, of these surveys - people who wish at 11:11, also known as young girls. Even though people older than 35 (you know, like, fossils) have embraced social networking sites, much of the content seems to be driven by 15-year-olds. Or 35-and-olders who behave like 15-year-olds, which is becoming more common everywhere, not just the Internet.
Anyway, I thought it might be interesting to read one of these surveys. Ha. Fooled me. It was just like being back in junior high, only without the lousy food and mean phys ed teacher. Here are some of the questions (and a few answers I just threw in):
Is your hair up? (Only where I slept on it wrong).
Will this weekend be a good one? (Any weekend I don't have to paint the house, clean out the gutters or cut the grass is a good one.)
Is the last person you kissed mad at you? (I hope not. Then again, she's a pointer-labrador mix, so if she were mad at me I'd probably have the teeth marks to show it.)
Have you ever had a difficult relationship? (That would be all of them).
Do you believe that you are a good girlfriend or boyfriend? (Of the two, probably boyfriend.)
Where did you buy the shirt you're wearing now? (The Fashion Store for Big and Beastly Men.)
What does the last text message say in your inbox and who is it from? (Text message? Inbox?)
Did anything weird happen today? (You mean besides getting this survey?)
Have you ever peed in the woods? (Sure, right next to where the bear ... never mind.)
Where was your default picture taken? (Jail, but like I told the cops, I was just holding it. Default was someone else's.)
Ever kissed anyone 18 or older? (Oh, a time or two.)
Have you held hands with anyone in the past week? (Yes, and then we went to Mr. Rawson's drug store and shared an ice cream soda. Gosh, it was keen.)
Did you lie on this survey? (Absolutely. And that's the truth. Maybe.)
© 2008 Mike Redmond. All Rights Reserved.
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