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You Say You Want a Resolution? Well ...
Now that we're out of The Holidays (and what a three-month fudge-and-dessert binge that was) it's time for us to get down to the serious business of … of …
Well, shoot. I can't think of anything. That's what I get for using the word serious.
Maybe I should start over. How about: It's time for us to get down to the (I'm not saying it) business of making the most from the promise of this New Year, 2008.
There. Sounds good, doesn't it? Real lofty, with some sort of purpose. And, in keeping with the fact that 2008 is an election year and therefore bound to be loaded with political promises, it's also nice and vague.
Actually, I'm quite fond of this time of year. I like January's clean-slate quality. Everything's new. We're starting from scratch. You get another chance. A do-over. A life mulligan.
I just wish the people to whom I owed money thought the same way. "What's that, Mike? Got a little carried away buying Christmas presents on eBay? Paid about twice the going price for that set of Funny Face Drink Mix character cups you gave to your brother? Hey, it was Christmas. Don't worry about it. Just pay what you can and forget the rest. And take your time. No hurry. While you're at it, don't worry about the truck payment for a couple of months. We know how it is."
I ask you: Can I daydream, or what?
Oh, well. Since that's not going to happen, the only solution is to work and pay the bills. Look at it this way: Fear of insolvency can be an excellent motivator.
This brings us to resolutions. After all, it wouldn't be January and the New Year unless we were making resolutions. It also wouldn't be January and the New Year unless we were breaking them almost as soon as we got them written down, but hey, nobody's perfect. Which is the point of resolutions in the first place.
I'm all for taking it easy on resolutions. For example, in my case I could resolve to lose 80 pounds and get myself back into shape. But that's going to take a lot of resolve. Instead, I'm resolving to lose enough weight so that I don't have to wear my fat pants - you know, the ones you keep tucked in the back of the closet, the ones that look like a six-man tent, with belt loops and cuffs. My hope is that once I lose that much weight, vanity will take over and I'll just keep going. That's the way it worked last time I made this resolution. And the time before that. And the time before that.
My other resolutions are to stop smoking and drinking. I don't expect these to be too much trouble. I quit cigarettes four years ago and I haven't had a drink since 1990. I think I have a pretty good chance of success here.
And after that, we're down to this: Be a good family member, a good friend and a good citizen. Which happen to be the same resolutions I made back in the fourth grade, for a class project. I got an A. My sister said I was brown-nosing and just writing what the teacher wanted to see. Of course I was. Wasn't that the whole point?
Now, though, they actually look like pretty good goals to me, and attainable ones, too. And lucky me, I have a whole year to work on them.
© 2008 Mike Redmond. All Rights Reserved.
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