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earning your business everyday
New & used vehicles with a full line service & parts dept. Call 765-932-2447 or 866-576-7874 or visit us on the web for more info.

open 7 days! dine-in or carry-out
Open for breakfast at 6 a.m., Mon-Sat. Steak special Fri-Sat. Daily homemade meal specials. 711 N. Main Street in Carthage. 765-565-6078

the caring professionals
Two locations: 7355 S. State Road 109, Knightstown (765-345-7400) and 3406 S. Memorial Dr. in New Castle (765-529-7100)

Call 765-345-5171 for info/quote.

body repair experts
Call 765-345-5380 for info/quote or visit us at 221 W. Main Street

parts for mowers
Call 317-462-1323 or visit us on the web for more info

a family tradition since 1898
Funeral services, monument sales. 130 S. Main Street in Wilkinson. Call 765-781-2435.

Mike Redmond Column

Please refer to the Mike Redmond Column main page for columns published in other issues.
Mike can be contacted via e-mail at




 'Mr. Redmond' to Try Aging with Grace

My inbox recently yielded an e-mail with the words Aging Gracefully in the subject line. I laughed out loud.

Come on, me? Aging Gracefully? Oh, I’ve got the aging part down. The hair on my head has more salt than pepper in it these days. When I go up and down the stairs, my knees sound like someone’s cracking walnuts. When I wake up in the morning, I make the same exact noise my father used to make when he woke up in the morning, a sort of combination of a garbage disposal being unclogged, and an unhappy moose.

Everything I eat either turns straight to fat or gives me gas. I have to use a magnifying glass to read the fine print on all my prescription bottles. I find myself beginning more and more conversations with “Back when I was your age. …”

I remember television commercials I saw 40 years ago, but I’m not sure about what I had for dinner last night. I can’t find any radio stations I really, really like. Movies? Oh, you have to be joking.

So aging I can do.

It’s the gracefully part that’s going to give me trouble.

See, despite all the evidence, I don’t really believe myself to be as aging at all. By my internal calendar, I’m still a kid. A pup. A young man. OK, young-ish. I still love to play guitar. Electric guitar. With the volume turned way up.

I still love to ride motorcycles, and not those two-wheeled Barcalounger touring bikes, either.

I still like rock and roll, when I can find it. Seems to be in short supply these days. And cartoons. I still love cartoons. Oh, and I could still idle away hours in front of the TV set watching Green Acres, the Beverly Hillbillies, I Love Lucy, The Andy Griffith Show and all the other stuff I watched when I should have been doing my homework.

Aging gracefully? It’s just not possible, and here’s why:

I’m not sure that I’ve ever really thought of myself as a grownup.

I’m a Baby Boomer®, after all, and while that means that I’ve had it pretty good since the day I was born, it also means that I am a child of people who really knew how to be adults. They were a powerful grownup presence, and I think vestiges of it linger still in many Boomer psyches.

You know, I never, EVER heard my father dismiss someone calling him “Mr. Redmond” with that old “Mr. Redmond was my father, call me Pat” routine. Someone calls ME Mr. Redmond and I look around to see if Dad popped up behind me. Which would actually be nice. I miss Dad.

Now, I’m not saying I am one of those arrested-development Man-Boy head cases. I do have some grown-up in me. I know how to dress. I can tie a bow tie. I’m comfortable in grown-up situations – fancy restaurants, board meetings, important lectures, that sort of thing. I can even be graceful when it’s called for. Well, graceful for a guy with a hiney the size of an imported car.

There’s nothing we can do about aging, of course. But, after some consideration, I think I’ll try to be a little more graceful about it. How? Well, I’ll start by really, truly accepting the fact that I am, in fact, an adult.

Right after Quick Draw McGraw is over.




© 2008 Mike Redmond. All Rights Reserved.