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Mike Redmond Column

Please refer to the Mike Redmond Column main page for columns published in other issues.
Mike can be contacted via e-mail at mike@mikeredmondonline.com.

 

 

 

 For ‘Dad Jeans,’ These Aren’t Bad Jeans

Here I sit in my Dad Jeans.

You’ve heard about these, haven’t you? First there was the “Mom Jeans” phenomenon, which poked fun at the supposedly ugly jeans favored by the Female American Suburbanite after she has reached the 30,000-mile mark on her odometer and has begun to show the inexorable effects of (a.) gravity and (b.) the average American diet.

And now we have Dad jeans, which are similarly mocked, partly for their look (loose) and partly for their wearers, who can be described in much the same terms as the Female American Suburbanite, with the additions of (c.) beer and (d.) long weekends in front of ESPN.

The Dad Jeans I am wearing came from an L.L. Bean outlet store in Delaware. They are gray in color (I also have examples in blue, black and tan) and cut so as to allow lots of room in the waist, crotch, thighs and buttocks. How much room? Let’s just say that if I tied off the legs and stuck an airhose in the waistband, I would look like the bottom half of something that got away from a Thanksgiving Day parade.

According to the trendsetters, I’m breaking most of the Jean rules here. Mine are the wrong color, wrong style, wrong fit, and most of all on the wrong person, because I’m built like a well-fed man in his 50s. Which, coincidentally, is exactly what I am.

In other words, my jeans and I are being sneered at and made fun of by younger, hipper people. That’s “hipper” as opposed to “hippier.” “Hippier” gets us back to the generous cut in the seat and thighs, which is what started this whole Mom Jeans/Dad Jeans thing in the first place. Which, contrary to popular belief, do not make your butt look big. At a certain age your butt looks big all by itself.

Anyway, as a member on good standing of the Baby Boomers® (Our Motto: Whatever It Is, It Used To Be Better) I tried to get upset about Jeans Snobbery – How dare those punks make fun of us, just because we dress for comfort instead of fashion – but I just couldn’t, and for a very good reason:

It’s our fault.

The way I see it, this is nothing more than Youth Culture asserting itself and coming back to bite us in the … uh, back pockets.

We Boomers® were the ones, after all, who made Youth Culture the dominant American popular culture. We were the ones who asserted our right to wear jeans whenever and wherever we wanted, to the consternation of our elders. And if the plastic surgery and hair dye sales figures are accurate, we’re the ones who want to hang on to youth even as we get ready to collect on what’s left of Social Security.

But there comes a point where comfort trumps vanity, and thus we find ourselves wearing Mom Jeans and Dad Jeans, which enable us to think we’re dressing like we always did, sort of. It’s just that in our Mom Jeans and Dad Jeans we can sit down without giving ourselves wedgies.

So I say let the kids have their fun. We deserve it for all those years of demanding that youth be served, but then refusing to get up from the table when the next generation came along. No wonder our butts got so big.

And, in my case, flat, just like my father’s.

Blame it on Dad genes.

 

 

 

© 2007 Mike Redmond. All Rights Reserved.