Knightstown Banner Online

Search The Banner Online

PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSORS

earning your business everyday
RUSHVILLE CHRYSLER-JEEP-DODGE
New & used vehicles with a full line service & parts dept. Call 765-932-2447 or 866-576-7874 or visit us on the web for more info.
rushvillechryslerjeepdodge.com

open 7 days! dine-in or carry-out
PIT STOP PIZZA & PUB
Open for breakfast at 6 a.m., Mon-Sat. Steak special Fri-Sat. Daily homemade meal specials. 711 N. Main Street in Carthage. 765-565-6078

the caring professionals
HINSEY-BROWN FUNERAL SERVICE
Two locations: 7355 S. State Road 109, Knightstown (765-345-7400) and 3406 S. Memorial Dr. in New Castle (765-529-7100)
hinsey-brown.com

family-owned/operated
LEAKEY INSURANCE AGENCY
Call 765-345-5171 for info/quote.
leakeyinsurance.com

body repair experts
KNIGHTSTOWN COLLISION CENTER
Call 765-345-5380 for info/quote or visit us at 221 W. Main Street

parts for mowers
SUPERIOR MOWERS & MORE
Call 317-462-1323 or visit us on the web for more info
superiormowers.com

a family tradition since 1898
CONDO & SON FUNERAL HOME
Funeral services, monument sales. 130 S. Main Street in Wilkinson. Call 765-781-2435.
condoandson.com

Ramblings by Rose Mary

Please refer to the Ramblings by Rose Mary main page for columns published in other issues.
Rose Mary can be contacted via e-mail at rwclarke@mibor.net.

 

 

 

 Pogo Said Enemy is Actually Us

I found the e-mail about a politically correct Christmas that I intended to use this past Christmas. Actually, it's timely today where voters are applying litmus tests to candidates. "Is the candidate a true conservative, liberal enough, patriotic enough, for or against the war in Iraq, for or against abortion, for or against gun control, for or against gay marriage, too religious, not religious enough, of the wrong faith ... ?" Our system isn't broken. It's that self-centered, contentious Americans and officials alike spend too much time contemplating their belly buttons and insist on having everything their own way that causes us to flounder in a morass of political correctness. As Pogo said, "I have seen the enemy and it is us!"

There's a lesson in this purported experience of a woman who was in charge of planning her company's Christmas party. October 1 - From Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director:

To: All Employees re Christmas party: I'm happy to inform you that the Company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon, in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar. We'll have a small band playing traditional carols - feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus. A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM. Employees can exchange gifts; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. Merry Christmas to you and your family.

October 2 - In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians. There will be no Christmas tree or Christmas carols. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment. Happy now? Happy holidays to you and your family.

October 3 - Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table. You didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on the table, you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this? . . . Somebody? About the gift exchange: The union members feel that $10 is too much, and the executives believe that it's a little chintzy. NO GIFT EXCHANGES WILL BE ALLOWED.

October 4 - What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20 occurs during the Muslim holy month of Ramadan which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. We can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps the Grill house can package everything for them to take home. Meanwhile, I've arranged for the members of Weight Watchers to sit furthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit together. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men- - each will have their own table. To the person asking permission to cross dress, no cross dressing will be allowed. Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt in the food. We suggest that those with high blood pressure taste first. There will be fresh fruit for dessert for Diabetics; the restaurant cannot supply sugar-free desserts. Sorry.

October 5 - To all bleeping employees about the bleeping Holiday Party: You vegetarian bleeps, we're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest away from the "grill of death", as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your bleeping salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But tomatoes have feelings too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. They're screaming NOW! I hope you all have a rotten holiday. The witch from Hell!

From: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director: I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery. In the meantime, management has canceled the party and will give everyone the afternoon off with pay. Happy Holidays

I pity the poor devils who run for president.

 

 

RETURN TO RAMBLINGS MAIN PAGE                                                                                      TOP OF PAGE