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Inside the Chrome Dome (archive November 2006)

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 To Nab a Ten-Point Buck, You Gotta Smell Like Pee

Okay, there’s an organized effort out there to put me on the spot. I’ve received several complaints about why I always write about high school sports in my column and never about hunting.

After all, it’s hunting season too. Or at least I guess it is.

Understand, I can say this without embarrassment: I’ve never been hunting in my life. Well, I did go on a scavenger hunt once as a kid. And I went on a “snipe” hunt once, but that didn’t pan out too well. I got separated from my group of buddies and nearly became lost in the woods.

I also went hunting for mushrooms once, but had no luck. Those sponge mushrooms were just too quick.

I have quite a few friends who have asked me to play golf with them, go fishing with them, play basketball or attend sporting events such as the Colts and Pacers.

I also have quite a few friends who hunt. But none of them have ever asked me to go hunting with them. Maybe it’s because they don’t feel like accidentally getting shot. I’ve never been hunting and I know nothing about the sport, other than what some of my friends and my son have told me. For some reason, hunting for deer just never struck me as an exciting sport.

If I understand, and I’m not sure if I do, there are specific techniques used by hunters to bag that trophy buck. Researching the subject, I discovered there are four basic steps one must take to successfully hunt deer:

Climb a tree and put a “stand” in the tree, giving you an elevated place to sit. Or maybe a place to stand, I’m not sure which it is.

Have a deer urinate all over you so you smell like….um….a deer outhouse. Or, apparently, you can buy deer urine and just pour in on yourself. McDonald’s Bait & Tackle in Knightstown actually sells the stuff, according to Estelle. One particular brand is called “Doe Lure”, although I don’t believe you tie it to a fishing line. Apparently, if you smell like a deer outhouse, when they have to go to the bathroom they’ll come right up to you.

Sit in your tree stand, or stand in your tree sit, for hours upon hours in freezing temperatures, waiting for a deer that has to use the bathroom to come walking by.

When a deer comes walking by, attempt to move your numb fingers into the proper position so you can shoot the deer with your shotgun or bow and arrow.

Apparently, that’s it. It’s that simple.

Only I don’t know why they call it hunting, because it sounds a lot more like ambushing to me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not being critical. I’m glad all of those hunters keep the number of deer in check, because I don’t like dodging them every time I drive out of town.

But it just doesn’t seem like my kind of entertainment on a cold Saturday morning.

But to please the masses, I will put a reminder in my column that this Saturday is the first day of shotgun season for deer hunters.

The early archery season started on Oct. 1 and ends Dec. 3. The later archery season starts Dec. 9 and ends Jan. 7, 2007.

There is a break in archery season from Dec. 4 through Dec. 8 because of the Holy Venison Ramadan, which occurs over five days in the ninth month of the official deer calendar. Okay, I don’t know why there is a break there.

The firearms season for deer runs from Nov. 18 to Dec. 3. Muzzleloader is Dec. 9 through Dec. 24. The Department of Natural Resources sets those dates for hunting because peak deer urination season is from October through January.

That’s all I know folks, and its more information than I’ve ever written about hunting. I hope it is helpful, and for your sake, I hope the deer aren’t reading the Banner on their restroom breaks.


Where Are They Now

Hunters, like many other outdoor sportsmen, can be extremely creative at times. Some hunt with either bow or shotgun, while others resort to more challenging ways to nab some of that sweet venison for the supper table.

Take, for example, 1980 Knightstown High School graduate Jim Stacy, this week’s “Where Are They Now?” subject. Jim was a Knightstown Panther basketball, baseball and tennis player and is still an active and inventive sportsman.

For many years, Jim has been a meat department manager for Kroger’s. These days he makes his home in Knightstown, and is an avid golfer and bagger of deer. Jim’s motto on the golf course is, “No matter what, I’m going to get my money’s worth out of this golf course.”

Those who have played golf with Jim acknowledge that he will frequently hit the ball over and over – occasionally well over 100 times – to extend his afternoon in the sunshine for as long as possible.

Jim also got an early jump on deer season recently. Although he wouldn’t reveal exact details of his favorite hunting location, Jim confirmed he had nailed a 10-point buck in a rural area not too far from Henry County.

He didn’t use a bow and arrow, however. Jim reverted to the old bumper-hood-windshield ricochet shot, which can be expensive, but appears to work every time.

Watch next week’s Banner for another feature on a former Panther athlete in the “Where Are They Now?” portion of this column.




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